These core wounds you are describing create neural pathways that filter out many of the possibilities that make life joy-filled. It is so important to find healing modalities that work for you to let the "woundedness" of a memory go. This allows new neural pathways to form that allow you to perceive your opportunities and take action on them...this creates new results more in line with "who you are." This is the path to discovering the authentic self, so that acting is not necessary, or at least becomes more of a conscious choice.
i was bullied as well, and that really leaves a mark. part of the reason I started my podcast was not only to help people, but also finally have the courage to be myself--actually share my thoughts and beliefs for once and stop holding back.
I may end up talking about this interview myself. what a gut-punch of a subject...it reminds me of my sociology classes back in college haha
Yeah Renni this interview hit me like a freight train the other night. It's like how you find the hardest hitting videos at 3 in the morning ALWAYS lol.
I’m sorry you were bullied badly as a kid, Tom. So was I. No wonder you and I have a lot in common!
We have similar gifts and similar struggles and I’m happy to support you as a friend in any way I can.
I love the incredible human being that you are, Tom, and I’m grateful to have you as a friend. It brings me joy to see you becoming more fully human and more fully alive, and you seem much happier! 🙂
Tom, this was so nice, so raw and honest. I'm moved. 🙏 I just subscribed and I hope you keep on writing authentic and vulnerable narratives like this one.
By the way, I was bullied in high school and in my first year of college.
We're made up of many different parts, and I think we jiggle them around and bring forward the most appropriate part for the occasion. Like an actor drawing on experience to play the role that's required.
"All the world's a stage, the men and women merely players." Shakespeare said it, and Brando said it, and now you're saying it. We all act, all the time. It's life.
I love the way this article gently lures us into the deeper concept of empathy.
I just finished watching the limited series Big Little Lies. In the second season, Meryl Streep plays a mother/grandmother whose son has just died. In meeting her daughter-in-law's friends, she is not afraid to be awkward, and she says exactly what she thinks and feels. It comes off as crude and harsh, and could be socially explained away as a sideways expression of intense grief.
Streep is one of those master actresses who portrays complex emotions and complicated characters through the most subtle of facial expressions, vocal tones, and body language. To Tom's point in this article, she expresses compassion and empathy while also portraying grief, rage, confusion, and fear. Isn't empathy the ability to comprehend all these emotions and to understand that they all can and do co-exist, no matter how contradictory they may appear?
While coming across so much of your content during my research into blogging, I think I have come to understand, **a little**, why it is hard to find tom. From my perspective, Tom is an amazing writer, that touches on a very empathetic level with your audience.
You have so many articles, that do not try to sell anything, they just talk about your way of navigating through life. I have observed, you do not stick to one 'platform' for very long. Your own findingtom blog ends in about 2021, you move from medium to substack.
The phrase 'digital nomad' suits you. It's like your trying to find your 'home' and every few years move from one platform to another (makes you a bit hard to follow, often the links on the older sites don't work anymore, or go to some other person site completely). Maybe it's acting? Maybe it's part of your business plan, I don't know. But your work feels authentic, (well except for this one Facebook profile tom.kuegler.1/about which maybe someone copied your photos and Ashton Kutcher?).
There seem to be at least 2 sides to Tom. One gets down to his feelings, journals, writes lessons learned about life, and the other tries to make money online selling strategies for success on all these different platforms. I think this mirrors your inner conflict of 'introvert' vs 'extravert'. But of course the world is never as black and white as we think, but I think a lot of people follow you not just because of your amazing writing, but because how relatable your stories are in people's own lives. Keep up the good work Tom, and if it s "all an act", then you are an amazing actor too!
These core wounds you are describing create neural pathways that filter out many of the possibilities that make life joy-filled. It is so important to find healing modalities that work for you to let the "woundedness" of a memory go. This allows new neural pathways to form that allow you to perceive your opportunities and take action on them...this creates new results more in line with "who you are." This is the path to discovering the authentic self, so that acting is not necessary, or at least becomes more of a conscious choice.
You're right Kristin. How can I start to heal?
i was bullied as well, and that really leaves a mark. part of the reason I started my podcast was not only to help people, but also finally have the courage to be myself--actually share my thoughts and beliefs for once and stop holding back.
I may end up talking about this interview myself. what a gut-punch of a subject...it reminds me of my sociology classes back in college haha
Yeah Renni this interview hit me like a freight train the other night. It's like how you find the hardest hitting videos at 3 in the morning ALWAYS lol.
I’m sorry you were bullied badly as a kid, Tom. So was I. No wonder you and I have a lot in common!
We have similar gifts and similar struggles and I’m happy to support you as a friend in any way I can.
I love the incredible human being that you are, Tom, and I’m grateful to have you as a friend. It brings me joy to see you becoming more fully human and more fully alive, and you seem much happier! 🙂
Haha thanks Michael. Cheers man!!
Tom, this was so nice, so raw and honest. I'm moved. 🙏 I just subscribed and I hope you keep on writing authentic and vulnerable narratives like this one.
By the way, I was bullied in high school and in my first year of college.
We're made up of many different parts, and I think we jiggle them around and bring forward the most appropriate part for the occasion. Like an actor drawing on experience to play the role that's required.
Everybody is changing
One of my favorites of yours. Such a great topic to explore and thanks for the interview rec.
"All the world's a stage, the men and women merely players." Shakespeare said it, and Brando said it, and now you're saying it. We all act, all the time. It's life.
I love the way this article gently lures us into the deeper concept of empathy.
I just finished watching the limited series Big Little Lies. In the second season, Meryl Streep plays a mother/grandmother whose son has just died. In meeting her daughter-in-law's friends, she is not afraid to be awkward, and she says exactly what she thinks and feels. It comes off as crude and harsh, and could be socially explained away as a sideways expression of intense grief.
Streep is one of those master actresses who portrays complex emotions and complicated characters through the most subtle of facial expressions, vocal tones, and body language. To Tom's point in this article, she expresses compassion and empathy while also portraying grief, rage, confusion, and fear. Isn't empathy the ability to comprehend all these emotions and to understand that they all can and do co-exist, no matter how contradictory they may appear?
While coming across so much of your content during my research into blogging, I think I have come to understand, **a little**, why it is hard to find tom. From my perspective, Tom is an amazing writer, that touches on a very empathetic level with your audience.
You have so many articles, that do not try to sell anything, they just talk about your way of navigating through life. I have observed, you do not stick to one 'platform' for very long. Your own findingtom blog ends in about 2021, you move from medium to substack.
The phrase 'digital nomad' suits you. It's like your trying to find your 'home' and every few years move from one platform to another (makes you a bit hard to follow, often the links on the older sites don't work anymore, or go to some other person site completely). Maybe it's acting? Maybe it's part of your business plan, I don't know. But your work feels authentic, (well except for this one Facebook profile tom.kuegler.1/about which maybe someone copied your photos and Ashton Kutcher?).
There seem to be at least 2 sides to Tom. One gets down to his feelings, journals, writes lessons learned about life, and the other tries to make money online selling strategies for success on all these different platforms. I think this mirrors your inner conflict of 'introvert' vs 'extravert'. But of course the world is never as black and white as we think, but I think a lot of people follow you not just because of your amazing writing, but because how relatable your stories are in people's own lives. Keep up the good work Tom, and if it s "all an act", then you are an amazing actor too!